As I was meditating in silence today, after starting with a few rounds of Ohm and the Lord's Prayer, I began thinking of the song, Make me a channel of your peace.
AKA:So I looked that up on YouTube and let it play while I meditated, and the words were powerful. I must have heard this song a thousand times in my life, but today when it played, it overwhelmed me emotionally. I started crying, and felt a wave of emotions that I honestly have a hard time putting a name to. I felt grateful, sad, joyful, inadequate, thankful, and overwhelmed. It was a whole jumble of things. The crying really wasn't a bad thing; it was very cathartic. I shook a little bit as well. My interpretation of this all is just that I needed to feel some emotions that I've been putting aside for a while.
Peace Prayer of St. Francis
CCLI Song Number 649264
Author(s):
Scripture:
2 Samuel 14:25; 1 Corinthians 14:9; 2 Peter 3:16; 2 Corinthians 12:15; Psalm 108:1; 1 Corinthians 9:22; 2 John 1:8; 1 Chronicles 2:9;Lyrics:
Make me a channel of your peace.
Where there is hatred let me bring your love.
Where there is injury, your pardon, Lord
And where there's doubt, true faith in you.
Make me a channel of your peace
Where there's despair in life, let me bring hope
Where there is darkness, only light
And where there's sadness, ever joy.
Oh, Master grant that I may never seek
So much to be consoled as to console
To be understood as to understand
To be loved as to love with all my soul.
Make me a channel of your peace
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned
In giving to all men that we receive
And in dying that we're born to eternal life.
Oh, Master grant that I may never seek
So much to be consoled as to console
To be understood as to understand
To be loved as to love with all my soul.
Make me a channel of your peace
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned
In giving to all men that we receive
And in dying that we're born to eternal life.
After listening to the song, I just sat in silence for a while. After a bit, I saw myself, but not as my physical body. More of a light-body. I could see a figure (me), seated, just like me, but instead of the exterior physical shape, I saw a lot of veins of light running through the entire body, with brighter center nodules from the base of the spine to the head. Kind of like the Chakras. The veins and all the light was kind of a violet-blue. A very calm and soothing sort of color. I thought about the movie "Avatar," and how the people in the movie transfer themselves into physical bodies that walk around doing things while their actual bodies are lying dormant somewhere else, and I kind of felt like that's what we're all doing. Our souls are just walking around in these physical bodies, and sometimes we forget that. We think that we actually ARE the physical body. We lose touch with the place where we all come from, and we get so caught up in in our avatars.
And then a shockingly beautiful blooming golden lotus flower appeared right in front of my face. As opposed to when I was viewing the light-body from the outside, my perspective here was that the blooming lotus was directly in front of my view. I felt an overwhelming desire to swallow the lotus flower, so I did. And the minute I did, I felt phenomenal golden energy coursing through my physical body. My heart rate sped up, my breathing became shallower and faster. I could feel this phenomenal energy filling and even exceeding the capacity of my entire body--so much so that I overflowed. Light shot out of my hands--like Iron Man. I was amazed but fine for a moment, and then this dark, oatmeal-shaped blob appeared in front of me. I don't know what it was, but understood that the blob was bad and it was terrifying. It may not sound like much, but if a gigantic blob of oatmeal appeared in front of you intentionally block your path, and if you felt actual malice emanating from oatmeal, for heaven's sake, I think you'd be scared, too.
But at that moment, I heard a voice as clear as day, and I was comforted. "Do not be afraid. We are with you. Nothing can harm you now."
And I instinctively knew that if I opened my hands (like jazz hands), this brilliant golden light that was too much to be contained in my body would shoot forth. So I made my jazz hands. The Iron-Man-like burst of energy poured forth. And the oatmeal boogey-man backed off.
Crisis averted. Heart rate slowed, breathing became normal. I felt relaxed, and I knew that I was protected. And I also knew that I could send my golden glow to anyone else I chose. So I sent a ray of light toward my daughter, who was sleeping a few rooms over. And then my timer went off, and my 25 minutes was over.
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