Tuesday, November 15, 2016
Post-election thoughts
Here lately, I've been thinking about some famous revolutions that went bad. Like the Russian Revolution, for example. You get a whole bunch of people who are all against something. Czarist rule, the elite, a giant pumpkin, whatever it is. They are all united together against that Thing, but no one really says what it is they really do want. (Probably because they know they don't have all that much in common). Once they get rid of the Thing they hated--the king, the Czar, the party in power, they can't really figure out where to go from there, and it all sort of spirals out of control, and it's never very pretty. Sometimes it's disastrous. So my hope for the country right now is that everyone who is feeling a lot of strong anti-something-emotions does a bit of soul-searching to find what it is they DO support, and then takes some personal action to make that happen.
Saturday, October 29, 2016
The yellow lotus
I have worked up from where I started--at about 5 minutes per day, to 25 minutes of meditation. It has been a wonderful journey.
As I was meditating in silence today, after starting with a few rounds of Ohm and the Lord's Prayer, I began thinking of the song, Make me a channel of your peace.
After listening to the song, I just sat in silence for a while. After a bit, I saw myself, but not as my physical body. More of a light-body. I could see a figure (me), seated, just like me, but instead of the exterior physical shape, I saw a lot of veins of light running through the entire body, with brighter center nodules from the base of the spine to the head. Kind of like the Chakras. The veins and all the light was kind of a violet-blue. A very calm and soothing sort of color. I thought about the movie "Avatar," and how the people in the movie transfer themselves into physical bodies that walk around doing things while their actual bodies are lying dormant somewhere else, and I kind of felt like that's what we're all doing. Our souls are just walking around in these physical bodies, and sometimes we forget that. We think that we actually ARE the physical body. We lose touch with the place where we all come from, and we get so caught up in in our avatars.
And then a shockingly beautiful blooming golden lotus flower appeared right in front of my face. As opposed to when I was viewing the light-body from the outside, my perspective here was that the blooming lotus was directly in front of my view. I felt an overwhelming desire to swallow the lotus flower, so I did. And the minute I did, I felt phenomenal golden energy coursing through my physical body. My heart rate sped up, my breathing became shallower and faster. I could feel this phenomenal energy filling and even exceeding the capacity of my entire body--so much so that I overflowed. Light shot out of my hands--like Iron Man. I was amazed but fine for a moment, and then this dark, oatmeal-shaped blob appeared in front of me. I don't know what it was, but understood that the blob was bad and it was terrifying. It may not sound like much, but if a gigantic blob of oatmeal appeared in front of you intentionally block your path, and if you felt actual malice emanating from oatmeal, for heaven's sake, I think you'd be scared, too.
But at that moment, I heard a voice as clear as day, and I was comforted. "Do not be afraid. We are with you. Nothing can harm you now."
And I instinctively knew that if I opened my hands (like jazz hands), this brilliant golden light that was too much to be contained in my body would shoot forth. So I made my jazz hands. The Iron-Man-like burst of energy poured forth. And the oatmeal boogey-man backed off.
Crisis averted. Heart rate slowed, breathing became normal. I felt relaxed, and I knew that I was protected. And I also knew that I could send my golden glow to anyone else I chose. So I sent a ray of light toward my daughter, who was sleeping a few rooms over. And then my timer went off, and my 25 minutes was over.
As I was meditating in silence today, after starting with a few rounds of Ohm and the Lord's Prayer, I began thinking of the song, Make me a channel of your peace.
AKA:So I looked that up on YouTube and let it play while I meditated, and the words were powerful. I must have heard this song a thousand times in my life, but today when it played, it overwhelmed me emotionally. I started crying, and felt a wave of emotions that I honestly have a hard time putting a name to. I felt grateful, sad, joyful, inadequate, thankful, and overwhelmed. It was a whole jumble of things. The crying really wasn't a bad thing; it was very cathartic. I shook a little bit as well. My interpretation of this all is just that I needed to feel some emotions that I've been putting aside for a while.
Peace Prayer of St. Francis
CCLI Song Number 649264
Author(s):
Scripture:
2 Samuel 14:25; 1 Corinthians 14:9; 2 Peter 3:16; 2 Corinthians 12:15; Psalm 108:1; 1 Corinthians 9:22; 2 John 1:8; 1 Chronicles 2:9;Lyrics:
Make me a channel of your peace.
Where there is hatred let me bring your love.
Where there is injury, your pardon, Lord
And where there's doubt, true faith in you.
Make me a channel of your peace
Where there's despair in life, let me bring hope
Where there is darkness, only light
And where there's sadness, ever joy.
Oh, Master grant that I may never seek
So much to be consoled as to console
To be understood as to understand
To be loved as to love with all my soul.
Make me a channel of your peace
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned
In giving to all men that we receive
And in dying that we're born to eternal life.
Oh, Master grant that I may never seek
So much to be consoled as to console
To be understood as to understand
To be loved as to love with all my soul.
Make me a channel of your peace
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned
In giving to all men that we receive
And in dying that we're born to eternal life.
After listening to the song, I just sat in silence for a while. After a bit, I saw myself, but not as my physical body. More of a light-body. I could see a figure (me), seated, just like me, but instead of the exterior physical shape, I saw a lot of veins of light running through the entire body, with brighter center nodules from the base of the spine to the head. Kind of like the Chakras. The veins and all the light was kind of a violet-blue. A very calm and soothing sort of color. I thought about the movie "Avatar," and how the people in the movie transfer themselves into physical bodies that walk around doing things while their actual bodies are lying dormant somewhere else, and I kind of felt like that's what we're all doing. Our souls are just walking around in these physical bodies, and sometimes we forget that. We think that we actually ARE the physical body. We lose touch with the place where we all come from, and we get so caught up in in our avatars.
And then a shockingly beautiful blooming golden lotus flower appeared right in front of my face. As opposed to when I was viewing the light-body from the outside, my perspective here was that the blooming lotus was directly in front of my view. I felt an overwhelming desire to swallow the lotus flower, so I did. And the minute I did, I felt phenomenal golden energy coursing through my physical body. My heart rate sped up, my breathing became shallower and faster. I could feel this phenomenal energy filling and even exceeding the capacity of my entire body--so much so that I overflowed. Light shot out of my hands--like Iron Man. I was amazed but fine for a moment, and then this dark, oatmeal-shaped blob appeared in front of me. I don't know what it was, but understood that the blob was bad and it was terrifying. It may not sound like much, but if a gigantic blob of oatmeal appeared in front of you intentionally block your path, and if you felt actual malice emanating from oatmeal, for heaven's sake, I think you'd be scared, too.
But at that moment, I heard a voice as clear as day, and I was comforted. "Do not be afraid. We are with you. Nothing can harm you now."
And I instinctively knew that if I opened my hands (like jazz hands), this brilliant golden light that was too much to be contained in my body would shoot forth. So I made my jazz hands. The Iron-Man-like burst of energy poured forth. And the oatmeal boogey-man backed off.
Crisis averted. Heart rate slowed, breathing became normal. I felt relaxed, and I knew that I was protected. And I also knew that I could send my golden glow to anyone else I chose. So I sent a ray of light toward my daughter, who was sleeping a few rooms over. And then my timer went off, and my 25 minutes was over.
Thursday, October 27, 2016
Day 2
This morning, I listened to one of Deepak Chopra's guided meditations (for healing). It was much better than my random choice for yesterday. I listened to that for about 16 minutes, and then switched back to my relaxing monks chanting. I rather enjoy it.
In addition to very deep relaxation, this morning I perceived (with my eyes closed) very bright light coming from the East. Yes, the sun was rising at this time, but I was down in the completely windowless movie room. Before that, I had also perceived two very bright spheres of light in my hands. I brought my hands together and the spheres became one big bowling ball of light and energy, with no actual weight. It hovered above my hands.
Some time after that, I got the message, don't be afraid. We're here with you. And I felt very calm, warm, safe and protected. And I understood that that protection was a continuous thing, not just that one moment.
I also saw myself, but not as my present self. Both as a very old and small and frail man and as a larger and sort of featureless being.
I don't know what any of that means, but I am just journaling so that I don't forget.
In addition to very deep relaxation, this morning I perceived (with my eyes closed) very bright light coming from the East. Yes, the sun was rising at this time, but I was down in the completely windowless movie room. Before that, I had also perceived two very bright spheres of light in my hands. I brought my hands together and the spheres became one big bowling ball of light and energy, with no actual weight. It hovered above my hands.
Some time after that, I got the message, don't be afraid. We're here with you. And I felt very calm, warm, safe and protected. And I understood that that protection was a continuous thing, not just that one moment.
I also saw myself, but not as my present self. Both as a very old and small and frail man and as a larger and sort of featureless being.
I don't know what any of that means, but I am just journaling so that I don't forget.
Wednesday, October 26, 2016
Intro
I just started meditation on a systematic basis about a month ago. I know that meditation is something that many of my yoga students struggle with, so the purpose of this blog is to chronicle some of my experiences in the hope that they may be helpful to others.
This morning, I tried something new. I decided to listen to a guided meditation. I've never done this before, and there are a whole ton of a lot of guided meditations on YouTube, so I did a sort of random pick of one that was about as long as I intended to spend in my seat--about 20 minutes. It was for awakening Kundalini energy.
Let me start by saying that I really know nothing -- at all -- about meditation from a formal standpoint. I have a lifetime of experience with prayer. Over the past month, I have sort of taken that prayer experience and made it into a more formal, timed thing, in which I generally start off with something like the Lord's Prayer, and say it to myself very slowly, focusing on each word and its meaning. And I focus on my breath. And I think about each of the people who are very important to me, and I try to visualize sending them a wave of positive energy.
After I get through this part where I am trying to direct my own mental energy, I sort of relax and try to get mentally quiet. Sometimes I see things. Some of them are overwhelming and wonderful. I see many beautiful lights and patterns of light. I see places I don't recognize (some of these are stunningly beautiful like nothing on this earth, and others are similar to things you might see somewhere on the planet, but I haven't been there).
I have enjoyed my experience overall, and I find that it does put me in a better mental place to face the day. But I also feel like there's more. So that's where the guided meditations come in. So back to this morning. The meditation starts off with imagining a ball of brilliant light that is seated at the base of your spine. No problem. I see brilliant balls of light in my meditation all the time. So, led by the speaker, I imagine that ball traveling up my spine with each breath, then exhaling it out so that it's about 5 inches in front of my face, and then inhaling it back in and imagining it traveling back down my spine. The speaker says to do this for about 10 minutes. Meanwhile, he stops talking. So that part of the meditation went really well. This ball of light behaved beautifully. Up and down the spine. Kept my focus relatively easily and started to feel very calm and relaxed. I would definitely use this technique again.
Then the speaker comes back in and directs me to either look at some erotic material or use my imagination and fantasies to become aroused. Not to do anything about it, but just to get into a state of arousal. And then he talks about the power of arousal and how ancient monks used to walk around in an excited state for long periods of time.
Ok, maybe if I had known where this was going, I might have felt ok about it, but I didn't know, so I got a lot weirded out and stopped the meditation. I went back to a recording of some monks chanting that I find very peaceful, and I settled back into my normal meditation pattern of just focusing on breath. I asked God to show me what to do, as normal. Only now, being pretty relaxed from imagining the big ball of light, I started seeing things pretty quickly. My mind wandered a little, and it settled on this year's election, which has been really horrible and contentious.
There were images, an older lady in white (who I recognized as Clinton), who was sitting on something like a throne and bathed in light. I started looking for the other candidates, and they were there, but obscured in the shadows. I could not see them, even though I was looking. So I figured the lady in white is what I'm supposed to be looking at. And as I returned my attention to her, she was split in half. Mind you, this was not in any way gory or painful looking, just like if you had a wad of dough and you cut in half. The two sides of the dough would just fall apart and be separate. There was no evident pain or bleeding or anything.
But there was also a message along with the vision of splitting. She will win, but she won't last four years. She will be torn in two. And I don't know, because this is all the message that I got, but it seems like the divisiveness in the country will lead to problems that will either metaphorically or literally tear the leadership in two. But the vision wasn't bad or negative or scary. It was all white light and calm and peaceful. Kind of like it's all going to be okay. It's all God's plan. Strange things will happen, but it's all right.
And I took great comfort from that. It actually helped alleviate a lot of my anxiety about the coming election and what will happen afterward.
I have learned from this experience that I should really investigate my guided meditation scripts a bit more before just throwing one on--and also, that this visualization of the ball of brilliant light moving up and down the spine is fantastically relaxing and it is a good tool to keep my mental focus, well, focused. It did, also leave me very receptive, which is a good thing. Maybe some time when I am not caught so off-guard, I might try the sexual arousal meditation. Could make for an interesting and powerful experience--if you are prepared for it!
This morning, I tried something new. I decided to listen to a guided meditation. I've never done this before, and there are a whole ton of a lot of guided meditations on YouTube, so I did a sort of random pick of one that was about as long as I intended to spend in my seat--about 20 minutes. It was for awakening Kundalini energy.
Let me start by saying that I really know nothing -- at all -- about meditation from a formal standpoint. I have a lifetime of experience with prayer. Over the past month, I have sort of taken that prayer experience and made it into a more formal, timed thing, in which I generally start off with something like the Lord's Prayer, and say it to myself very slowly, focusing on each word and its meaning. And I focus on my breath. And I think about each of the people who are very important to me, and I try to visualize sending them a wave of positive energy.
After I get through this part where I am trying to direct my own mental energy, I sort of relax and try to get mentally quiet. Sometimes I see things. Some of them are overwhelming and wonderful. I see many beautiful lights and patterns of light. I see places I don't recognize (some of these are stunningly beautiful like nothing on this earth, and others are similar to things you might see somewhere on the planet, but I haven't been there).
I have enjoyed my experience overall, and I find that it does put me in a better mental place to face the day. But I also feel like there's more. So that's where the guided meditations come in. So back to this morning. The meditation starts off with imagining a ball of brilliant light that is seated at the base of your spine. No problem. I see brilliant balls of light in my meditation all the time. So, led by the speaker, I imagine that ball traveling up my spine with each breath, then exhaling it out so that it's about 5 inches in front of my face, and then inhaling it back in and imagining it traveling back down my spine. The speaker says to do this for about 10 minutes. Meanwhile, he stops talking. So that part of the meditation went really well. This ball of light behaved beautifully. Up and down the spine. Kept my focus relatively easily and started to feel very calm and relaxed. I would definitely use this technique again.
Then the speaker comes back in and directs me to either look at some erotic material or use my imagination and fantasies to become aroused. Not to do anything about it, but just to get into a state of arousal. And then he talks about the power of arousal and how ancient monks used to walk around in an excited state for long periods of time.
Ok, maybe if I had known where this was going, I might have felt ok about it, but I didn't know, so I got a lot weirded out and stopped the meditation. I went back to a recording of some monks chanting that I find very peaceful, and I settled back into my normal meditation pattern of just focusing on breath. I asked God to show me what to do, as normal. Only now, being pretty relaxed from imagining the big ball of light, I started seeing things pretty quickly. My mind wandered a little, and it settled on this year's election, which has been really horrible and contentious.
There were images, an older lady in white (who I recognized as Clinton), who was sitting on something like a throne and bathed in light. I started looking for the other candidates, and they were there, but obscured in the shadows. I could not see them, even though I was looking. So I figured the lady in white is what I'm supposed to be looking at. And as I returned my attention to her, she was split in half. Mind you, this was not in any way gory or painful looking, just like if you had a wad of dough and you cut in half. The two sides of the dough would just fall apart and be separate. There was no evident pain or bleeding or anything.
But there was also a message along with the vision of splitting. She will win, but she won't last four years. She will be torn in two. And I don't know, because this is all the message that I got, but it seems like the divisiveness in the country will lead to problems that will either metaphorically or literally tear the leadership in two. But the vision wasn't bad or negative or scary. It was all white light and calm and peaceful. Kind of like it's all going to be okay. It's all God's plan. Strange things will happen, but it's all right.
And I took great comfort from that. It actually helped alleviate a lot of my anxiety about the coming election and what will happen afterward.
I have learned from this experience that I should really investigate my guided meditation scripts a bit more before just throwing one on--and also, that this visualization of the ball of brilliant light moving up and down the spine is fantastically relaxing and it is a good tool to keep my mental focus, well, focused. It did, also leave me very receptive, which is a good thing. Maybe some time when I am not caught so off-guard, I might try the sexual arousal meditation. Could make for an interesting and powerful experience--if you are prepared for it!
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)